1. Develop Yourself
In wanting to attract the right mate we have to develop ourselves as women and be found busy cultivating a relationship with the most high God for this is the first relationship we had. God fashioned us in the wombs of our mothers ensuring we made it through the arduous journey of birth into the world.
When all else fails it is God that we turn to for help and consolation where no one else is there for us in our time of need. Often God is a last resort but should be put first if we are to be the women He wants as to be, brains, beauty, creative, moral, spiritual, productive and fearing Him and Him alone.
It’s time to get prayed up for the changes that will make us new and pleasing in His sight. When you get on the journey of getting closer to God the creativity in you will increase as you put Him in the centre of all of your affairs. Just keep God on your mind and talk with him, pray, surround yourself with positive and productive people and learn to serve and help others less fortunate than you. Look at your family, your community, what skill or talent do you have that can practically help?
Outside of your day job use your time to help others, as you develop your skills set and do more talking and sharing with people opportunities will open up for you.
2. Be Patient
Don’t go looking for a mate as your light will shine so brightly he will find you in God’s time develop and grow so you can bring lots to the table to help set and work towards a worthy goal for you and your mate to build your marriage around. Build an empire, a legacy together that will live on long after you are physically gone.
2.5 children, house, car, holiday twice a year and some savings in the bank won’t cut it today this just builds an individualistic outlook that fails to develop the community as a whole.
3. Don’t give it up
Once you’ve had sexual relations with a man who has not committed to you by way of marriage you set yourself up for a cycle of going from one relationship that didn’t work out to another. We are too valuable to do this to ourselves. Everything around us paints this destructive cycle as the “norm” it’s a part of life it’s what we do until we find that one! But spiritually, emotionally and physically it can leave scars with sexual transmitted infections, low self-esteem from feeling used, unwanted pregnancies, confusion, leaving us up messed up and in need of healing.
We can end up missing out on the man that is good for us due to being so hurt from past relationships. The signs that we are still hurting are acting out and punishing a good man for the mistakes of ex-partners.
The level of infidelity and sexual irresponsibility would be lowered if we as women stood together on the principle and practice of no sex before marriage, even Beyonce knows that if he like what he sees he better put a ring on it!
Many think that no sex before marriage is unrealistic in today’s society but maybe we should try it and see! This would set a new standard that would raise the morality of our community and be pleasing to God.
We make it too easy for men to conduct themselves in a way that is harmful to us if they know they can get sex from a woman easily with no commitment. This is destroying us and our community with a high number of single parent households being the norm.
A single parent can raise good children, my mother was one but children deserve to have two parents present to shower them with love and resources needed to excel in life and for neither parent to be stressed and burdened for raising children on your own is no easy job.
A way to find out whether a potential mate is right for you is to court, courting is a safe way to find out all you can about a potential mate before you get seriously involved meaning engaged to marry.
This is a process above dating, dating today is a process whereby you basically sample the goods, see how it goes and if the relationship doesn’t work out……. NEXT!
With courting an approach is only made if you have an intention to get married, you would ideally ask permission of the parent(s) or older sibling of the person you are interested in.
With courting you talk with your prospective mate and ask questions like a court would. Here’s a tip on some questions to ask!
Does he have children? Health issues? Do you share the same belief system? Why did his last relationship end? What are his business plans and how will he achieve them? Does he make enough to maintain your living standards or take you higher?
There’s no sexual contact during this process which would last for around three months depending on the circumstances up to six months if children are involved as they would meet your court mate.
It would be a good idea to have a chaperone if you fear you may lack discipline on keeping your hands off each other during this process! Once you both decide you are right for each other you would get engaged and then marry!
Courtship guards both parties emotionally if things fail to work out by not getting in too deep and mounting up your number of sexual partners this video sheds light on some of the effects of having multiple partners.
Try courting and see how you get on!
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Watch my video on this blog topic!
How’s your preparation for a relationship going?
Would you try courting?
Have you tried courting before? How did it go?