Being a mum doesn’t mean that you forget about yourself and how important it is to keep a sense of identity outside of the role of “mummy.” The role of mother is one of Divine as a mother is nurturing and self sacrificial and shows her children mercy the same as God does with us.
Sometime as women we become so sacrificial that we forget about ourselves and the need to have an identity outside of our all encompassing role of mother.
Becoming a mum doesn’t necessarily mean that plans for you as an individual have to die, you may have to tweak them here and there but you must still pursue your ambitions and develop yourself in areas that you are passionate about.
Giving up on your dreams and goals by way of being sacrificial for your family is a pattern that you sometimes see in women who marry highly successful men. They forget about themselves and solely focus on the goals and achievements of their husbands and lose themselves.
There is a flip side to this in regards to the ambitious mum who is busy running multiple projects and/or businesses whilst raising children. Their drive is to fulfill the goals that they have for themselves as well as work towards building a secure future for their children. Whether a single parent or married…… mothers feel guilty.
Why? Because having extra ordinary goals and ambitions requires you to allocate a large amount of your time to what it takes to be successful, which is to continue on regardless to whom or what until the task is done, until the goal is reached.
The late nights at the office, nights or days working at home in front of the laptop, the multiple numbers of conversations on the phone whilst the children are left to entertain themselves with toys, rubbish on the television or computer games.
The weekends where the children are ushered away to spend time with their father, friends or family for you to meet that all important deadline. The broken promises that bring about tears and tantrums from your little darling boy or girl that causes mum’s to overcompensate with money, toys and the relaxing of rules etc to try to keep the bond of trust and love alive.
This topic is real and a little dramatic or for some of you traumatic! But the truth is a lot of mothers’ feel guilty for the time that pursuing their goals and ambitions takes away from having quality time with their children.
On the whole women have a lot to bear as they are traditionally the main carers of children and homemakers. Many women go out to work and still come home and cook, clean the house, do homework with the children, ferry them around for extra curricular and social activities.
In executing your game plan to actualize your ambitions this can at times be a never ending struggle for balance. Women who are on this road at some point have to channel that guilty feeling into practices such as working through the night on tasks depriving themselves of sleep and becoming master organisers and smooth delegators.
The workload can be heavy so smart ways of doing things have to be adopted. I nearly dropped down when a sister told me that she still spends hours on Sunday afternoons ironing. Who has this kind of time on their hands? When looking at our income and expenditure you will find that some of the money we spend is on utter rubbish and if you were to add up how much you spent on snacks, muffins and coffee on the way to work or the snack draw or cupboard at home, or for the smokers the several packs of cigarettes you kill yourself with smoking each week, you would have enough money to hire someone to iron for you and get in a cleaner! This would free up some time for you to spend with your little darlings.
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